ECHO 8/2/06

Who knows of Samashki in Chechnya? Who made any noise about it in the West? About the degradation of morality there perpetrated by the Russian army, by the ‘new’ Russian leaders? Who knows that the small town was shelled perpetually for months? That civilians were targeted before any strategic, historic or symbolic target; that the occupation force regularly entered the town on foot or in tanks in the supposed search for Chechen rebel fighters and instead laid waste to houses, torching them, bombarding them, maintaining a cordon of fear. But more than that, fuelled by the cocktail of drugs (Promodol and Dimedrol) issued in their first aid kits, the soldiers shot civilians point blank, not just men of fighting age but women, children and animals too. They opened up hiding places and burned people alive in them, pouring petrol in and setting light to them with a match or a grenade. It was even reported that a child was lynched and his body remained hung from a tree with a sign around his neck that reminded the population that ‘The Russian Bear has awoken.’

Hypocrisy begins at home.

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Panic and fear, anxiety riddling my body at 2a.m. Can’t sleep; lie waiting for it to return or for the dawn to appear whichever comes first. Mind creates a maelstrom of images and concerns amounting to overload: time passing, where is my life going; the grip of failures; money worries; immediately, the fear of having to drive the M40 later in the morning on little or no sleep – feel my self literally shrink and shrivel –

Eventually, behind the wheel, I see the dawn and it comes on glorious; a slow, visual rumble of burning pink at first, a gross ember. Then somewhere near Banbury the sun breaks the horizon and blinds the East-facing, burning off any thin cloud and gradually summoning blue –