Tuesday, August 22, 2006

22/8/06

If you’re about to tell anyone let them know it has to be about patience. Can you learn that now at your age? If not, chances are it will not be a pleasant ending. Stations of the cross and all that.

The artificial is sometimes beautiful. I’ve spent twenty four hours in an environment built by modern day kings (whom usually I despise) and realised that they had created something rather special. A realm of peace and tranquillity hidden in the landscape, where red squirrel and pheasants and countless other species are provided for.

At heart however I am realising something with a far greater impact. A core emptiness that needs to be filled/fuelled/eradicated/nurtured. This in me. And I cannot name it or identify it’s source. Perhaps it is the necessary place of faith? Or solace? Or constant agony? I am not sure yet. But it remains wholly dissatisfied with life. I suspect if I delve into it, allow it to become complete, it will take me places, make me curious to find it’s ‘cure’.

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